The Worst Customer at the Bar | The sCHining Pt. 3

(creepy music) (bicycle bell)
(laughter) – Oh move it or lose it, Trap. (laughter) We hired you to be writers.
(subtle creepy music) Why don’t you write? (sighs) Hi Lloyd. Bit slow tonight isn’t it? (laughs) – Yes it is, Mr Trap. What’ll it be? – I’m awfully glad you
asked me that Lloyd. You have nay local draft beers? When I’m traveling I like
to try the local stuff. – We have a local sour beer, sir. – Blech, sour. Awfully trendy, Lloyd. Is that what you guys do here? You just follow trends? – No sir, we also have a local lager. – What are the tasting notes like on that? – Similar to a Stella, sir. – Wow, (laughs) really cracked
the case for me there, Lloyd. Just answer me this. Does it have too much
tangerine on the palette? – No. We also have a Sam Adams seasonal. – Yeah, you and every
airport bar in America. Am I right, Lloyd? – Would you like to look at a menu, sir? – Menus are for diners. A good bar man should be able to recommend me a drink. – Sir, I heard your writers. They might need some correcting. – How ’bout wine? You got a good Nero d’Avola? – No sir. – Do you have anything tannic? – We have a lovely Cabernet, sir. – Oh, of course you do, a Cabernet. Great, what are the tasting notes on that? – It’s pretty big and… – Big? Mm-hmm.
– Big and fruit forward, sir. – So, I’m hearing wine, Lloyd. Just make me a Gin Hudson. – What’s in a Hudson, sir? – Lloyd, this is basic
fucking shit here, okay? A Gin Hudson, it is London
dry, Creme de honeysuckle, Sage liqueur, and Charcoal bitters. – We don’t have Charcoal Bitters, sir. – Fresh Charcoal will be fine. – How ’bout a martini, sir? – Oh, fine! Dry Boodles, up. – We don’t have Boodles, sir. – Old Tom?
– We don’t have that. – Burleigh?
– No, we don’t have that. – Four Pillars?
– We have… – Ferdinands?
– Hendrick’s, – Bingle Bangles?
– Royal Guard, – Fords?
– That’s it. – Four Pillars.
– No, that’s it. – Oh, all right. Royal Guard then. I’ll slum it. – Your writers. They might need a firm hand. – Lloyd, you ever notice
that tips have gone up? What’s with that; you know, it used to be 10%, and then it was 15, and now it’s 20? I mean, what’s going on, right? It’s not like you’re
doing anything different. It’s the same drink, it’s the same… (boom)
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That’s the ice you’re using. It’s too small, Lloyd. It’ll melt too quickly. Anyway, the whole tipping thing is a scam. It’s like what, because
you’re gonna charge me more for a drink, you deserve more of a tip? Here’s a tip, Lloyd. Work harder. Anyway. (gentle music) – Lloyd, no, no. Did I, or did I not ask for a dry martini? The vermouth balance here is just a mess. Mm. Mm-mm, mm, Mm-mm. Now Lloyd, this one is too cold. – Perhaps if you give it a moment, sir. Sir, you should kill your writers. – You know, I hate to
do this, but I’m gonna have to talk to your manager. – Absolutely. – What seems to be the problem? – Hi, thank you. I don’t wanna be a problem customer, but I mean, your bartender
can’t make simple drinks. – Perhaps you’d like to try
our Barrel Aged Manhattan? It’s to die for! (maniacal laugh) (laughs) Oh, because he’s dead. (horn blares) – [Announcer] Pump eight,
please begin fueling. (tires squeal) – ‘scuse me, ‘scuse me. I’m wondering if I could cut you in line. I’m, I’m in a bit of a rush. I’m rescuing my friends from a murderer. – Oh, we, we all are. That’s why we’re here. You’re all rescuing your
friends from a murderer? – Yeah, this whole area’s
pretty popular for that. – Do you all have the shining? – Yeah, of course. – I guess they could wait a little bit. – Hey, it’s Grant from College Humor. Click here to subscribe to the channel. Click here for more fun stuff. And… Sorry, you guys, it feels like I’m out. Am I out? I, ’cause I can like, I can
see the top of the camera. So it’s… Is this better? All right, it feels worse. Okay, thanks for watching.

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29 Responses

  1. Keko Modz says:

    I'm not even in college and I like these

  2. Matilda Muller says:

    I would have killed Trapp goddamn it all

  3. Shan says:

    that beginning was perfect

  4. InsaneDynamics says:

    If I was next to someone who was acting like trapp, I'd deck him in his smug ass face.

  5. TheCarlosCobain says:

    My god this beard is beautiful. I just……want….to………touch it!

  6. nicsan says:

    Is this the location for Who killed Markiplier?

  7. sadman hoque says:

    this makes me want to watch the movie lol

  8. Dookovich says:

    Mike Trap can't be intimidating no matter how hard he tries

  9. davrosdaleks1 says:

    Great dialogue in this!

  10. Thanosetalgia/ThanossGaming says:

    Didn't the Shining butcher the book?

  11. xx92 Forest says:

    Loyd is cute

  12. Waver 72 says:

    It says in the description that his name is Floyd, but Trapp says Lloyd.

  13. angel yoongi says:

    It's Pewdiepie :O

  14. Cryptic Corner says:

    I’m going to fucking kill mike

  15. Tony Spanu says:

    I'll take the B-52

  16. Joseph Delahunty says:

    I wanna see a horror movie where everyone is too dumb to go crazy and murder each other

  17. Lily Batterham says:

    Four Pillars is actually a really nice gin…

  18. Wil bur says:

    What a good Jack Nicholson impression.

  19. An Okay-ish Animator says:

    I love Lloyd he is so Passive Aggressove

  20. spazbotcode says:

    The bartender should have been Pat Castles since we all know trap killed him

  21. TheYlro says:

    Thumbs up!

  22. Nintendo Nate says:

    Funny thing is that grant wrote this sketch

  23. Allison Kniech says:

    I love how anytime something is about to be scary, it's undercut by some stupid s***

  24. SKX says:

    Anyone else kinda creeped how well Trapp impersonated Jack Nicholson's level of crazy?

  25. Fionnbarr Casey says:

    Trapp is the worst kind of bar customer

  26. Glitching Axel says:

    No joke, you guys are better than most parody films

  27. Zeus says:

    This is genius.

  28. Emelia Onichi says:


  29. Emma Terry says:

    I watched 0.17 – 0.23 like six times cuz trapp's acting is so good

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